A couple days after my arrival on American soil I was sitting at my niece's softball game. As the pee-wee level excitement came to a close, I debated whether or not I should use the restroom before we headed home…two thoughts immediately entered my head:
1) I wonder if it's free 2) I wonder if there's toilet paper
I pondered for a moment and then smiled…
“Oh yeah…I'm in America.”
I quickly realized that I might be the happiest girl on earth…while even today the simplest luxuries bring me joy:
1) Hot showers 2) Bottomless drip coffee 3) Terrycloth towels 4) Comfortable bed 5) Putting on different/clean clothes each morning
(airport welcoming crew at midnight -- Thanks family!)
It's a strange transition, I mean of course I know how to maneuver American culture, I did it for thirty years after all, but my thoughts continually bounce back…to African villages…children's faces…gypsy living…and radical faith.
Did it really happen? Some days it feels like a dream. But I look through the pictures…walk through my memories….and I'm gently reminded…they are real. Real people…real situations…real life…real faith.
Finally in the privacy of the night…the struggle between this life…and that…won. I felt it coming like the ocean tide…
Heartbreak.
Heartbreak for the two little pot-bellied girls in Uganda…who ate our leftovers each day. I wonder…who feeds them now?
Heartbreak for the sick and dying throughout the remote regions of Africa and Asia…with no access to quality medical care.
Heartbreak for the lost…unaware of God's love.
Heartbreak that it's over…all the while knowing
...it's just begun.
The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. (2 Chronicles 16:9)
Re-posting a blog below written by Holland Cox - which gives an update on our ministry here.
Night in and night out we overload a 10 passenger van and make the 25 minute drive over the hill to Bangla Road. In our 'long' skirts or jeans, flip flops, and faded shirts we traverse the overcrowded streets and alleys and dodge presumptuous grabs from beckoning girls to find 'our girls'.
one of the side streets of Bangla Road, by day
While we've only been going to Bangla road for the last 6 nights we all have girls that we have made relationships with. These are the girls whose names we cry out to God with, who we pray will be sitting alone waiting for us when we make it to their bar, not off with a customer, who we spend our nights visiting, who are our friends. We fight to see these girls, we risk rejection and embarrassment and the fact that they generally think we are lesbians, all to ask them to go to dinner with us or to go shopping or get coffee. Many tears have been shed on our part from failed appointments and broken engagements but we continue to go see our girls, night in and night out.
Despite the late nights and exhaustion, we continue. Someone on my team commented this morning that even when they were partying and living a crazy lifestyle back home they never went to the bars 5 nights a week. They would go for 'one good night' and sometimes two during a particularly exciting week; But us, we go 5 nights a week. We spend hours under the neon nights, nearly screaming over the pulsing music just to ask our friends how their son was when they called that day or if they are still tired like yesterday.
Last night you could see the exhaustion on all of our faces. I saw more of our small groups wandering Bangla road than I did sitting in the bars. We are worn out. At our nightly after midnight debrief, an exhausted silence seemed to cover the room. No one really spoke of the usual triumphs and failures, they didn't' have the energy; no one had to say they were tired either, it was understood. We just sat for a while and processed internally, prayed, and crawled into our beds. No one woke up this morning to exercise like usual or get a jump on the day. Until after 9:00 our bunk room remained still.
Rejection is tiring. Bars are tiring. Loving is tiring. Being tired is tiring. But today we got to taste the fruit of that which is to come and it made it all worth it.
Two days a week SHE specifically opens its doors for lunch and a time of fun and fellowship for any girl working in the bars. It is our job to invite our friends from the bars and get their phone numbers at night. The morning of, one of the Thai women who works for SHE painstakingly calls each girl and re-invites them to come that day and tells them where and when they will be picked up. All we can do is sit and wait to hear how the morning phone conversations go.
As word made it back to us, anxiety filled each of our hearts. "Could one of my girls actually walk through those doors today..." we all wonder to ourselves. Someone says one of Leslie's girls that broke a dinner date last night was coming, one of Jodi's, one of Marissa's, 2 that came the other day were coming back that Anna knows, a few were unreachable, Michelle's was still with a customer when they called, and a few phone numbers didn't work...some of us rejoiced while some were severely disappointed.
We all prepared for their arrival regardless.
A casual atmosphere, and a home cooked Thai meal met the girls as they entered SHE and almost immediately I overheard one of my teammate's whisper that two of the girls had already committed to leave their jobs at the bar and move into SHE.
WHAT!? It actually happens? All of work isn't in vain?
As the news continued to spread it was almost like a wave of rest and refreshment swept over our team. So much joy filled my heart. The thought that two girls never have to return to work captivated me.
As time went on we found out more.
Jaeb will be moving in today. Just like that, she is done with the bar scene. She now is a resident of SHE where she will join the other girls who have made the same decision as her. She will be taught a trade and receive a salary. When she decides it's time for her to move on SHE will help her find a job using her new trade. Her life of freedom starts now.
Pla will move in on Tuesday. She is one of the girls that came for lunch earlier in the week as well as today. She too will leave her life at the bar for a life of security and love. We cannot wait until her arrival on Tuesday.
Rung came to SHE earlier in the week with Pla. Since then she hasn't been back at work, which caused my teammates that knew her a lot of worry. We heard today that she has since moved back to her home in another part of Thailand and is living with her family. We are overjoyed that she too has left the bar and pray that it is a permanent decision.
So today in Phuket, Thailand we are rejoicing. Pray for these 3 girls as they get an opportunity to start a new life. And pray that we have the energy to continue to bring hope to these bars.
** an update since this blog was written last week - Pla has come back to visit SHE center a couple of times, and has even brought friends with her -- but has not moved in. We have continued to check in on the bar that her and Rung worked, but there has been no sign of either. Time will tell where their story leads. The girls who have moved in are doing great, and seem to really enjoy it here. Thanks - Brandy
There are 2 teams, 18 women - serving in Phuket Thailand. In between 9pm and midnight we make our way to Bangla Road in Patong to minister to the girls in the bar district. It's not easy and it doesn't ever leave you feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Sometimes I even have a repulsion from going, but I go. There is perversion everywhere you look. I've done a lot of reflecting in my free time of why we're doing this (fully realizing this is what I signed up for) but still pondering why? Why do I have to go into these dark places Lord?
"Who else is going to go?" ...seems to be His only reply.
When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Mark 9:11-13
Many of us have struggled as we've tried to capture our initial experiences in written form, but I think Marissa tells it well in her "This isn't the way it's supposed to be" blog below...
Her name is Nook.
Her eyes get wide as we play Jenga and she carefully places the block in her hand on top. She's really pretty, 26 years old, and studied marketing for a couple of years. She has long brown hair that sometimes she has to tuck behind her ear as her bangs fall over her left eye. Her son is 4 years old and he lives with her parents on the other side of the country. She calls him every day to remind him that she loves him.
And her heart breaks every time he tells her that if she really did, she'd be by his side.
Instead, she is working at a bar on Bangla Road in Phuket, Thailand, one of the biggest sex tourism capitals of the world. Selling herself so her son, who has no idea what she does, can have an education.
I asked her if she likes her work.
"No!" she said as she quickly shook her head.
"Do the other girls like their jobs?"
"Nobody likes living this way," she said.
I nod, not knowing what to say next and continue to play, laugh, and act like what we're doing is perfectly normal. But it's not. It's NOT normal.
It's not normal to walk down the streets as a man walks, quickly looking left and right as his wife or girlfriend frantically walks behind him holding on tightly to his hand. It's so hard to see the little girl trying to sell you a flower necklace as women dance behind her on poles. It's hard to see the couple walking down the street with their toddler in tow. And it's hard to see the men walk into the bars as the girls flirtatiously greet them. It's hard to walk past the men and women who hand out fliers to live sex shows.
And it's even harder to love them.
Last night, on night two, I found myself glaring at two men who'd walked into the bar next to the one I was in as one grabbed one of the girls by her hips and pulled her towards him. I glared as his friend also grabbed her and she threw herself on him, too. As I looked on, I glanced downward to a man in a wheelchair and as I did, I was reminded that at some point in these men's lives they felt rejected, like they didn't belong. And now they're looking for a deeper need in these women. The high suicide rate among sex tourists is proof. They're looking for acceptance. For intimacy.
And that makes them just like me.
Someone in need of something bigger, greater. Someone in need of something that changes lives from searching and living in such sadness to joy, fulfillment, and confidence.
What makes us different as we walk into these bars isn't that we order sodas instead of alcohol. It isn't that our clothes are different. Our cutoff shorts and t-shirts scream tourist. It isn't that we leave before everyone gets really drunk. It isn't even that we're women.
What makes us different is that we are called to look into every single person's eyes and say, "You were made for something more. You ARE loved. You ARE accepted."
I attended a conference once where a Hollywood producer or director was a guest speaker. To be honest I remember far more about what he said than who he was. But I do remember his heart to serve the poor. He shared story after story about his unashamed invitations to multi-million dollar stars to support such causes. He made the following point...
It is a privilege...
to feed the hungry
to help fight the war on AIDS
to provide for an orphan
to change a life
So why do we sometimes act otherwise?
When we know about such causes, it is our duty to spread the word, to extend the invitation. To ask the question...do you want to be a part of this?
Our last J-Squad fundraiser proved a success as we raised money on behalf of Pastor JJ in Pader, Uganda. As a last minute donation came through from one of my supporters, the blessing was increased to $3180!! Thank you!
We have the opportunity to bring this same kind of blessing to Asia - specifically to Toch Village in Cambodia -- which I had the honor of visiting, mentioned in my earlier They gave us their home blog.
So as this race is nearing it's completion and J-Squad is taking advantage of our last fundraising opportunity together - we would like to invite you to take a look at Toch Village - and join the effort as you feel led.
We have met incredible people all over the world during this past year. We have gotten to live day in and day out with people who are putting it all on the line to follow God's vision for their lives. We leave most months inspired and thankful that God would allow us to see the ways in which He is moving throughout the world.
This past month Team Ninja from the J Squad worked with one such inspiring person. His name is Vuthy Nurn, and he lives in a small, remote village in Cambodia called Toch Village. He was born in the village but spent his childhood in Phnom Penh, the capital. After a few rebellious years, he accepted Christ through YWAM. Almost immediately God laid a vision on his heart for how Vuthy could transform his village.
Vuthy's vision is almost as big as his heart is. His vision includes building a home for abandoned children from the village, as well as for orphaned street kids from Phnom Penh. He wants to construct a youth center for the local youth from his village and the surrounding area. He wants a place for the youth to gather to learn about God, to have a space for a computer lab, and to run English classes. He currently runs English classes every day for local children and youth.
Throughout the month Team Ninja and the J Squad caught Vuthy's vision. We believe that God is working mightily through his life. In order for Vuthy to be able to see these dreams come to pass in reality, he will need financial support. He needs money to begin the initial process to build both the orphanage and the youth center. Please watch the video that we have put together to give you a more complete picture of Vuthy and his vision. We hope that you will be able to see the amazing things that will come out of your donations to his project.
Let me tell you about a group of 14 men...who left their homes...their friends...their families...and their own definitions of success...to serve Him. They've carried our packs...dried our tears...built physical walls...and torn down spiritual ones. They've held orphaned babies. They've planted trees. They've led children's ministries. They've preached to millions over the African airwaves.
They've done everything in between.
Time and time again throughout this year -- the men of J-squad have proven what defines a man...
God does.
It has been a privilege and an honor to serve alongside each and every one of you. From the bottom of my heart -- Thank you! We'll be praying for you this month!
Below is Dan's blog previewing their manistry month away from the ladies - enjoy!
as you know, we do a month where just men work together out here. a lot of times during manistry, the men do construction projects and do a lot of manly stuff...you know how we do.
but this month the lord is breaking the mold and doing something huge with the j squad men.
while i'm not sure of the specifics of our ministry, we will be serving at a girls home called remember nhu.
remember nhu has rescued the girls living at the home because they were at risk of being sold by their families into the sex trafficking industry. in other words, they were at risk of being sold into brothels and prostitution...against their will...beginning anywhere near the age of three. thats not a typo, three.
so please take a moment to watch this awesome video that january '10 world racer jake kennedy put together.
and please take a moment to pray for these girls. and for us.
Thanks Holland Cox for writing this blog to preview our last month in Thailand...
Administrator. Camp Director. Marketing Consultant. Personal Assistant. White House Aid. Teacher. Barista. Urban ministry coordinator. Fashion buyer. Waitress. Entrepreneur...We come from very different places, backgrounds, career paths, but all of these things have specifically prepared us for this month.
This month, the month of June, is our last month; month 11. For this last month the guys and girls are split up. The guys will be off doing 'man-istry' while us girls will get to spend the month together. In light of that we have joined up with the girls from another team to form a bigger, better team. We are now 10 women strong.
My new team, which we have named 'put on love' from the verse Colossians 3:14 will be working in Phuket, Thailand with a ministry called SHE. It stands for Self Help and Empowerment (http://www.shethailand.org/). It works to assist at risk children and women, many of whom are trapped in the commercial sex trade. We will be going into the bars at night and forming friendships with the girls and if they are open to it, introducing them to SHE where they can learn a new trade and find counseling and support. For the girls who have already gotten out of the sex trade, we will be helping them with their businesses, such as baking or making jewelry. We will also be leading Bible studies and serving in any way we can be used.
I cannot express how excited I am to get started on ministry this month, but I am under no illusion that it won't be tiring, dark, and heartbreaking.
So we are asking you to pray for us. Pray for the unity of our new team. Pray for the women we will meet at the bars. Pray for the women who have already left the bars and are under the care of SHE. Pray for the men who fuel the commercial sex trade. Pray for our men while they are off doing 'man-istry.' Pray for our protection in the bars. Pray for our protection and the country of Thailand, as it has political unrest. Pray for our last month, that we finish strong and not grow weary.
We thank you all for allowing us this opportunity through your love and support. God is love.
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:12-17
Below is a video SHE made, just to get a taste of what the ministry and city will be like...
Dan and I traded the comforts of the city for the tranquility of the country to serve with Team Shekinah in Krongnoung village for our last week of ministry in Cambodia...a village too small to keep this story for itself...
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. - Matthew 10:29-31
"Brandy...she's scanning the van for you." Sam said. I immediately slid across to the window and began searching the crowd for her. The instant our eyes met, smiles swept across our faces as our hands frantically continued to wave.
Goodbye Lita Lou.
Lita is the 4-year old adopted daughter of Sun, the woman who ran the kindergarten in the remote Cambodian village we were serving. Lita is beautiful and precious gem who radiates with His love. She twirls with the innocence of a child while carrying the testimony of a old soul.
When Lita was only a few months old, her mother, dying from HIV, made the desperate decision to sell her on the streets of Phnom Phen. Sun learned of the little girl and desired to rescue her from the fate of the streets. She was interested in adopting her but only if she did not have HIV. She met 6-month old Lita and immediately fell in love. Sun took her to the hospital to have her tested.
She waited...she prayed.
The doctor delivered the news.
"I'm sorry, this baby has HIV."
Wanting desire to overrule reality, she had her tested again.
Positive.
And again.
HIV Positive.
With the results placed before her and the baby in her arms, the choice was hers. Return Lita to the streets to be sold - or pay the price. The $200 monetary price her mother demanded...the sacrificial price of raising a baby with HIV. Was she worth the cost? Was she deserving of life's most precious gift....
Lita was bought with a price. Sun loved her too much to let her go.
Sun returned to her village with Lita in tote and offered her the only two things she knew to give... unconditional love and prayers. The few Christians in the predominantly Buddhist community began to faithfully pray for Lita's miraculous healing. Day by day, night by night, they continued to pray.
When Lita was 18 months old, Sun returned to the city to have Lita re-tested for HIV.
She waited...she prayed.
"Please God let the words that come out of the doctor's mouth not be 'I'm sorry' - please Lord let him say 'Congratulations - your daughter does not have HIV."
She waited...she prayed.
And then came the doctor...followed by the words...
"Congratulations - your daughter does not have HIV!"
Today Lita is the picture of health and product of love.
God's greatest love story...for Lita...for Sun...for me...for you.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16
Lita pictured with Sun and Soca
Soca is another little girl Sun has taken in, along with her mother -- who were tragically left homeless in the village
If His eye is on the sparrow, His heart is on you.
About a week ago Robin, Aubrey and I toured Phnom Penh on the back of motor scooters with a few of the girls from the English class we'd been teaching. It was a holiday in Cambodia, the King's birthday. Cambodia is a Kingdom! It was one of the many surreal World Race moments...knee-to-knee in traffic driving in front of the brightly lit palace with fireworks decorating the sky over the waterfront.
(Robin on the moto)
(picnic in the park next to the waterfront)
(part of Aubrey's picnic - ewww - i passed on the frog)
*also available to eat in Cambodia: grasshoppers, spiders, snails, gecko, duck embryo, dog - No thanks!
(palace entrance in the daytime)
The experience reminded me of the celebration we had left the day we departed Vietnam, a day they interestingly consider their Independence Day or Unification Day - the day Saigon fell to the North, marking the unification of their country. We took in the spirit and busyness of the city park celebration from our bus window as we carried our goodbye's in our hearts.
But with our tickets officially booked - I'll be home to celebrate our own American independence!!! If all goes as planned, I'll see my parents [presumably smiling faces] around midnight on June 29th as I step off the tarmac...in Moline, IL. Oh the joy in that day!
"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Acts 20:24
Often times on the race running water is a huge blessing...especially after serving on location without. Hot water is faint memory from our former lives.
But the rules change in Cambodia...where shower water can not possibly get cold enough to satisfy.
With temps on the rise and perspiration on the run...it's HOT!
Dan and I are making the grand tour of teams this month since this is our squad's last month serving with these teams. Next month is defined by "manistry" in Thailand...where the men will trek off into the jungle to be men, serving in a capacity that can not be disclosed to the female half of the species. The women will be going into the red light district where we'll be ministering in the bars and streets to the women involved in the human trafficking/sex industry. Please keep us all covered in prayer!
We started this month serving with Colby's team in the remote regions of Cambodia. No running water, no electricity bar a generator which was ran through the night to power fans and keep the air circulation bordering bearable. Did I mention...it's HOT!
Our hosts would fill a relatively deep tub in the bathroom full of water about once a week. The water made the muddy waters of the Mississippi river look clean. With it's brown hue and live tadpoles, we were set with our toilet, bath and laundry water...in one pool of goodness.
We rinsed out the squatty potty and called it a flush...dumped it over our heads and called it a shower...and washed our clothes and called them clean. (well ok Colby's team did their laundry...I just kept wearing the same thing until I returned to the city - currently back in Phnom Penh)
But I didn't write to tell you about our water.
I wrote to tell you about our hosts.
Our main contact and only one who really spoke fluent English in the village was a 27 year old guy, Vuthy, who had his life radically transformed by Jesus. He literally went from wreaking havoc and running the streets of Phnom Penh to returning home to his village, reconciling his relationship with his parents, and beginning community outreach projects and planting a church in his living room.
(Vuthy and Anthony on a house visit)
Speaking of his living room...we were living in it.
I've thought a lot about hospitality since coming on the race. It's often difficult for many people to open their calendars...let alone their homes...to friends and acquaintances...let alone strangers.
But his family not only opened up their home...they gave us their home for the month. They had a newer concrete home built next to their older wood and thatch home built on stilts (very common in the Cambodia countryside). His family moved out of the concrete home and into the stilt home because it had a leaky roof and they didn't want to put us there.
They gave us their home.
(the stilt home they moved into, we taught English below)
He originally left home due to a violent situation with his dad who was abusing alcohol.
When he returned home...his parents still fought...
and they didn't understand his new found faith...
they didn't see the need to invite neighborhood children for English class...
But that was then...
long before they agreed to take us in...
before they joyfully cooked all of our meals...
before they started building a classroom for those neighborhood children...
before they gave us their home.
(Vuthy's mom - where she did all of our cooking, under the house)
